The Private Victory- The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens

Part II- The Private Victory

The emphasis of this section is that before achieving the public victory, where you are celebrated by others, you have to achieve the private victory.  

Covey talks about this concept in depth throughout the section, and an example of private victory he provided is his triumph on the football field.  

There was one quote in particular that stood out to me which was: “They thought that victory had taken place on the field that day in the public eye. I knew it happened months before in the privacy of my own head, when I decided to face my fears, to stop holding back, and to brace myself for one supreme effort.”  

The Personal Bank Account 

This chapter is built upon the personal bank account and how it ties into achieving the private victory. A personal bank account functions similar to a real bank account, except it runs on self-trust rather than money. Depending on your actions, deposits into and withdrawals from the account are made. Deposits are made when keeping promises (to yourself or others), doing small acts of kindness, and being gentle with yourself, whereas withdrawals draw equally from the opposites. Covey goes on to talk about the many realistic scenarios that the PBA thrives on.  

I think the two seas in Palestine analogy was clever symbolism, with the seas representing the two types of people; the givers and hoarders.  

On a sidenote, one thing I’ve realized so far is that the story is full of anecdotes. I think this was a good way to highlight the credibility of the book. 

Question: Talent I want to develop this year

Answer: Game development

Question: How do I get there

Answer: I’m doing the SFU Canadian Coding League. 

Habit 1- Be Proactive 

This chapter explores all the corners and crevices of habit 1- being proactive. It covers all bases, from the choice that is being proactive or reactive, the signs and traits of proactive and reactive people, and applications of the habit.  

I think that victimis virus is an important thing to overcome, because like 99% of people relate to it. It is where one "believes that everyone has it in for them and that the world owes them something"(52). I want to be the 1% that isn’t affected by it, and to do that I found that “listening to my language” could help me a lot. There are certain phrases that I find myself saying such as: “I’ll try”, and “there’s nothing I can do”. I will t̶r̶y̶ ̶t̶o̶ replace them with their positive counterparts: “I’ll do it”, “Let’s look at all our options”. 

There are also two mindsets called can-do and no-can-do. Can-do people act and take initiative. No-can-do people wait for something to happen or think about problems as barriers. I feel that I am a no-can-do person more often than not. I find myself quitting because my code doesn’t work, or I make something that looks like rubbish. I will build a can-do mindset with my “power tools”.   Self-awareness, conscience, imagination, and willpower. Overall, this habit is pretty fitting for teens in today's world.

Question: Reactive language I use most? (71) Answer: “I have to”, “I lost because”, “I can’t”, “I’ll try” 

Question: Most unhealthy habit? (72)

Answer: Giving up too easily 

Question: What I’m going to do about it? (72)

Answer: Challenge myself. 

Habit 2- Begin with the End in Mind 

The second of the 7 habits of highly effective teens is to begin with the end in mind. This means to, as Covey described it, “deciding what your values are and setting goals”. After listing the reasons this habit is worth internalizing, one point he made that I feel is key is the personal mission statement. It’s sort of like the blueprint of your life. A set of principles that you look to for guidance.  

Great Discovery:  

The Great Discovery(85) is an activity to get designed with the reader's deeper self in preparation for their mission statement.

1: My coaches have made a positive difference in my life. They are analytical, observant, and passionate. 

2: The most important people in my life would be my extended family. I hope that we are relaxing and enjoying life but also knowing when to work hard. 

3: It depends on the distance between the skyscrapers and how much wind there is. 

4: Programming and game development 

5: Eating, math, coding, watching YouTube, playing videogames, running, sports, reading sometimes, sleeping, being with family 

6: When I see rich people 

7: My parents, close friends. I want them to say that I’m smart and nice. 

8: I’m the shark. Because I never stop moving.  

9: An hour with the smartest person ever. I would ask them what their brain can do and stuff 

10: Im good with numbers 

My mission statement: 

Eat, sleep, work, repeat.  Its inspired by a t-shirt I’ve seen before, eat sleep game repeat. It’s a mindset I hope to adopt because I think so much time is wasted scrolling on social media. 

A personal mission statement can be great for teens today in particular, because I hear often how students fresh out of high school have no direction in life.

The book has been really clear on how to actually apply the habits, and I'm enjoying it so far. 

Habit 3- Put First Things First

Simply put, habit 3- putting first things first means to organize yourself so that important things are prioritized. Covey calls it the habit of willpower, because unlike deciding what first things are, putting them into action is a larger step.  

One half of this chapter is dedicated to the Time Quadrants, and how to manage time. The Time Quadrants formed by combinations of important/unimportant and urgent/not urgent ways to spend your time. Some urgent activities are instant messaging and Instagram. They make people lose sight of the important things they need to do such as studying for a test in advance. Each quadrant is assigned a name and certain traits. I feel that for the better part of my life, I’ve belonged to quadrant 4; The Slacker. It wasn’t until I faced the realities of high school that I really locked in and shifted toward quadrant 2; The Prioritizer, which I am proud of. 

Overcoming peer pressure is another central idea of habit 3 and is what the other half of this chapter is comprised of. It is about not letting fears control decisions, and the courage and comfort zones.  

The comfort zone is made up of activities that can provide comfort, such as just being relaxed and doing enjoyable things. Courage zone, on the other hand, is unexplored territory, that involves risk and bravery. Most of the time, it’s okay to reside in your comfort zone. However, Covey made it a point to emphasize the fact that the courage zone is also very important. I think two ways that I have stepped out of my comfort zone and entered the courage zone are when I joined a basketball league despite my inexperience, and when I tried learning Roblox Studio code.

The world has gotten comfortable with the development with technology recently. The habit could remind teens to get off their phones and try something new for once.

Question: Item I’ve procrastinated forever? (128)

Answer: Improving my blog website

Question: Fear that’s holding me back? (128)

Answer: failing 

Question: Person or people who influence me? (128)

Answer: Parents, teachers, friends